~numb rainbows~

life's novocain enters
her veins slowly
numbing her mind
as cherry lips part
and form the words
"where is my rainbow?"
she could always 
see or invent 
the arching colors
that rise high into
the ice pop blue sky
these painted reminders 
always came to her 
after the long storm
now she can only see
the fierce dark clouds 
of yet one more storm
that someway she must
manage to face 
and that
somehow she must
manage to endure
hopelessly numb 
she waits 
as chaos approaches
yet once again

but 

  she can 
remember her
  rainbow

and 

   in her 
   spirit
     she 
   smiles

as
   
   she faces
     a new
       .

-Kimba
Copyright:
February 21, 2001














"I'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect..." 
--Perfect 

"And She Continues To Love" 

The blood on my hands 
Because I was selfish to ask 
When all along I knew how she'd feel 
Remembered my own pain 
When the one I loved was indifferent to me 
And how they told me to let go as well 
Just like her I couldn't 
And she continues to love 
And she continues to love 
He cries and laments and steals her pity 
Pushes and pulls, manipulates until he gets his way 
She's dieing because he's a poisonous snake 
I know how she feels when he bites 
It feels so good that you forget the inevitable pain 
Until it comes in full force 
Somehow she doesn't see what he does 
Gets his way over and over 
Her unconditional love and her body whenever he pleases 
His heart is as cold as ice 
And she continues to love 
And she continues to love 
I never thought he suited her 
But his guise was sweeter than those of the past 
So even I was fooled 
I listened to his voice and I knew something was off 
And I've tried to stand back and let her realize 
Yet she never sees what he's doing 
Or how smoothly and easily he does it 
Today as if to prove his power even to me 
He stole her attention when I needed a friend terribly 
I would have given anything to hit him just then 
But I sat in quiet anger at his manipulative facade 
And she continues to love 
And she continues to love 
I refuse to help someone who won't be helped any longer 
She made her choice when she chose his company today 
And I tried to love but it doesn't matter 
Because she continues to love him, and he does 

©Steƒ
krazyb4ne1@aol.com 

"I'll make it to the moon’ I have to crawl..." 
"It's a beautif’ul day, don't let it slip away..." 















~Pain~

Life is a series 
of feelings
that wait like
a sine function
for experiences.

The constant highs
      and 
the constant lows 
of these emotions 
involve pain 
in some form.

   "Love," 
the experience 
that humans place
the most value on
involves the deepest 
pain
and 
involves the deepest 
pleasure.

Today, 
I want to just stop feeling.

I want my being 
to no longer have to
endure these great highs
and these great lows
that we call life. 

I can no longer see
the value in their lessons.
I am all that I wish
to be. 

Then, 
with the absence
of feelings
I no longer 
would have to battle 
   the constant 
ripping of the thin
threads that are me. 


--Kimba
Copyright
March 6, 2001




















 





since there are no regrets...
no way of set it right...
although time might...
don't look back...
don't say your'e sorry, 
there's no use...
game on!

-Patrick
Copyright:
April, 2001
patrick@strand.gs 













Dedicated in love to Fawn... 
In loving memory of Owen.

~playmate~

anger becomes our pain
how could you leave us
without even a 
goodbye

our hearts ache
because they will 
not know the joy
of your laughter
or the uniqueness
of your smile



you never gave 
any of us a chance
to hear your sadness
to help you cope
to hug you tight

your image made us
want to be like you
beautiful 
funny 
and
kind

we know you 
and
we know that you 
never meant to be
the cause of tears
or 
the source of pain

our spirits wanted 
your spirit to stay
and to play 
in the falling rain
for one more day

-Kimba
Copyright:
April 10, 2001 













dear child

wipe your tears away
no one will harm you
don't cry this way
we will save you now

so smooth is a smile
painted on a mask
wear it now as you
walk out the door
and no one will see you
no one will know
just cry in the shadows
so you'll be alone

never looking up
so blind of these angels
but we are still here
waiting for you
you cry all alone
although we cry with you
if you'll open your eyes
we'll be the love in you

wipe your tears away
no one will harm you
don't cry this way
we will save you now

the world can be so beautiful
but only if you let it
love is waiting for you
if you'll let her in...

-Fawn
Copyright:
April 11, 2001













~cuts~

you cut 
my words 
and
then 
you paste 
them

i wonder
as you call 
my words
your words
do you even 
comprehend
that those images
were not merely
letters 
that i chose 
carefully one day
but 
they are 
part
of my being
and 
they form 
what it is
to be
uniquely 
me

-Kimba
Copyright: 
2-23-2001 














so long is loss

how many times did i think i'd fall?
how many times did you hold my hand?
how many times did my tears fall?
how many times did you catch them there?

am i all alone here?
alone with a world that holds me.
you're so far away now
away from the ones that need you.

it's another day of nothing,
but the pain takes me back.
if i could wish for something
would you come back to me?

i am clothed in my tears
sheltered by the fear of tomorrow.
i am lost in my house
shattered by the knowledge of today.

when i look back
will i still see you?
or will everything remain grey?

all i have is the memories;
if they too, won't fade

-Fawn
Copyright:
April 12, 2001













Dark skies do'nt always remain gray.
Light always seeking a way in 
through soul's trap door.
Light shines at end of every tunnel, 
sewer, whirlpool, smokestack leading 
out of ashes, out of prison, cage, coop, 
shroud, storm, tornado.
Light in every flower and tree, 
river and stream, mountain, 
life and living creature, horizon, 
from God, energy of eternity.


-Matt
Copyright, 
April 24, 2001
airlesslunar@yahoo.com













~the sand of oasis~

the hush of darkness 
becomes the reality
of an unprotected 

arms grow weary as
the constrictor's hold
that circles 
can no longer keep

vulnerable and afraid
of being lost again

in the desert's sand

in the desert's sting

in the desert's silence

dry tears fall


love 
is desert's thirst


overwhelmed 
by the desire to quench need 
the seeker
creates illusion of oasis 
that plays sport in the mind

running fast to dew painted
sunrise and sunset flowers
that possess sharp claws

licking droplets 

attempt to sustain

                    
love? 

-Kimba
Copyright:
July 1, 2001





















TO MY SPECIAL  FRIEND 
JODI LEE 
KIMBA 

DARKNESS SHROUDS THE MIND 
AND IMAGES OF GRYPHONS 
FORM INTO GRAY AND WHITE CLOUDS UP ABOVE 
AS EVER SO FAINTLY 
A BLACK VELVET HAND 
CLOSES AROUND THE HEART 
AND FOR A MOMENT THE SPIRIT 
DISENGAGES 
YEARNING FOR ITS FREEDOM 
WITHOUT LOOKING BACK 
AND HARBORING NO REGRETS 
SOARS INTO THE ABYSS OF THE UNKNOWN 
AND OUT OF ITS VOID-NESS 
CAME LIFE 
NO CLONING 
FROM SEED IT TOOK SPROUT 
BURST FORTH AND BLOOMED 
INTO A RARE CACTUS FLOWER 
THAT PRICKED 
YET WAS LOVELY TO LOOK UPON 
LASTING ONLY LONG ENOUGH 
TO MAKE YOU GRASP IN AWE 
THEN IT FOLDED 
DISAPPEARING 
LEAVING BEHIND AN ACHE IN THE SOUL 
THEN THE ANGUISH BECAME A SPARK 
AND THE SPARK TURNED INTO A FLAME 
BRINGING A BITTER SWEETNESS 
EMERGING WITH 
PASSIONS 
AND DESIRES AS THE SHROUD LIFTED 
AND A NEW SPACE IN TIME 
BEGAN 

-WOLFEYES
Copyright:
JULY 5TH 2001
Jourdamivia@aol.com  














runaway 

she cries... 
she screams... 
she runs... 
she can't stand the life that she's living, 
so she leaves it all behind. 
she's uncertain... 
she's depressed... 
she's terrified... 
she doesn't know where to run... 
where is she now? 
she's in hiding, 
tears stinging her eyes constantly. 
mind twisting... 
heart crying... 
body collapsing... 
tomorrow holds nothing for her. 
she's lost... 
she's confused... 
she's gone... 
no one knows her anymore, 
not even herself. 
she stands on the edge, 
breeze blowing her hair. 
she's alone... 
she's crushed... 
she's suicidal... 
all she wants is to fly 
and be broken. 
she wants to jump... 
leap from this world... 
but she doesn't... 
what stopped her? 
what held her back? 
she steps away from the edge. 
she looks to the left 
and then to the right... 
what was left? 
the wind's song... 
the sun's light... 
the sky's voice... 
she's alive... 

-Sage 
Copyright:
April, 2001 
chica_367@hotmail.com













When my mind is feeling blues, 
My eyes stare skyward at butterflies 
and smiles light up my spirit.

-Matt Sipress
Copyright:
June 2001
airlesslunar@yahoo.com